How much longer until the global warming religion declares jihad?

Help. The global warming missionaries are after me!!! That want to have me confess my sins of driving a pickup and having a campfire. The plastic in my keyboard is smokin because of my anger too. All hail Mother Earth! O crap, here they come with carbon credits and trillions of dollars in solar and wind subsidies!!! They want to baptize me in hydrogen power! In verse 12 or the second chapter of Popular Science is says I am a heathen and that I am doomed to a steamy tropical rainforesty planet. What shall I do???